Week 1

I don't have a good idea of what to write here. On one hand, I saw a lot in my first week in the classroom, but on the other hand, I saw nothing at all. For starters, on day one, I found out my mentor was leaving. She talked to me prior to class about how she loves her school and students and that'll be the hardest part about leaving. It was hard to witness, even as an outsider. When class started, I was struck by how little seemed to ever happen in class. Since my placement is in speech, it makes sense. Those classes are more about writing and delivery than reading or lecturing. BUT! And this is a big but, there was no modeling. There's no strategies. The strategies given to the students are handouts of other people giving advice or just watching a video. Not a video with a pedagogue preamble before. Not a video with pausing and discussion. Just a video. Play is pressed and then the phones come out. While excited and ready to learn on the first day, my excitement and hope waned during the first day and in the days after. See my week's notes below:  

9-12 Notes

-   Found out mentor is leaving

-   Period 1 (COMM 210)

o   Demonstration speech examples

o   A little rambly

§  “We’ll talk about this later! But actually…”

o   Led class discussion in between videos but ended up answering own questions

o   A work day + videos

o   Offered work time but then when students were silent and unmoving, she seemed uncomfortable and put on another video

o   Offered to mark a tardy student as present until he mentioned he’d already been marked tardy in the office

-   Period 2

o   Giving speeches

o   Gave me a sample rubric

9-13 Notes

-   Got to look at IEPs

o   Student D

§  ASD

§  Allowed to leave for resource room

§  Needs double time for testing

§  Reads at a 4th grade level, but has special ed class to address it

§  Group work

o   Student L

§  Specific Learning Disability

§  Double time for testing

§  Group work

§  Resource room

-   Told class she’s leaving

o   Had to watch her and students cry

-   Period 1

o   Choose demonstration speech topic

-   Period 2

o   Gave packets about their speeches

9/14 Notes

-   Delay Day. Didn’t attend

9/15 Notes

-   More videos

9/16 Notes

-   Period 1

o   Students started giving speeches

-   Period 2

o   More videos

It just...I don't know. I'm truly at such a loss. I feel like I'm being held back being in a classroom with a teacher who knows  she's leaving and is using it to try and guilt students. Every period starts with "You have to do it before I'm gone!" and then randomly in class she'll bring up something else about how she's leaving. 

One situation that made me very uncomfortable was with a student named Ed. I wish I could change his name for this, but it's relevant to the story. Every day she has referred to him as "Scissorhands" and it's made him uncomfortable and upset. On Friday, he mentioned it made him upset and she said "Would you prefer I call you Twilight?" and he said "No", so she said "Then it has to be Scissorhands so that when I'm gone, you remember me for nicknaming you." He responded, "I have a nickname. It's Ed. And I'd prefer you call me it." And she just got defensive and started trying to convince the students that they should be nicer because they "don't have much longer" with her. It made the whole class feel icky, me included. It was silent the rest of class. 

As for the focused climate observation, I don't have much else to say that isn't "Students and I feel uncomfortable and the teacher uses guilt as a tool". I don't know what it was like prior to my mentor finding out she's leaving, but it's very likely given how the students interact with my mentor, it was likely similar, just without the "leaving" guilt. I don't doubt there was a culture of pity prior to my arrival because it feels natural in the classroom. 

But, at the end of the week, I'm left here. A lack of a conclusion.